Imagine yourself doing the work of Home.ology. What would it be like for you? What would you discover? What would need healing—in your home and in your life? What would you learn about yourself? With these questions in mind, please get comfy, get curious, and enjoy this Home Story!
A Home Becoming Her Own –Dawn, a stay at home Mom in her late thirties, and her four daughters stayed in the family home after she and her husband amicably separated. Her ex moved into a house on the same street so they could share the care of the girls. This was helpful for parenting, but not so much for moving on after the separation. Her ex was often in the house, many of his belongings were still there, and he even still used his workout room in the old house. With four daughters in three bedrooms, his workout room used up precious space in their house. Dawn didn’t like that he was still using the space, yet hadn’t felt like she could or was ready to ask him to dismantle it.
Dawn couldn’t imagine a future for herself and her home reflected this. It was still filled with her ex’s belongings and was set up just as it had been when her ex was there. She hadn’t been able to do anything with her home that would reflect a brighter new life for herself.
Read on to find out how Dawn claimed her home as her own!
It was hard for Dawn to imagine what she wanted her home to look like post divorce. She admitted to feeling like she didn’t have the right to transform her house into a special place for her and her daughters. It had always been a place where she felt small and constrained in a disempowered marriage. Even though she was a creative and talented fiber artist and did many other creative projects, it hadn’t occurred to her to that she could take “ownership” of her ex’s old workout room. For so long, she had put her own needs on the back burner and prioritized her husband’s needs. As Dawn worked through these dynamics, she began to experiment with setting boundaries and expressing her needs.
In the safe space of Home.ology, she was able to see how setting boundaries, voicing her opinions, and standing up for herself were lifelong struggles. She began to see how these challenges were making it difficult for her to move through the divorce with integrity.
As it became easier for Dawn to say “no” it also became easier for her to envision who she wanted to be in her new life and how she would express that in her new home. A huge success for Dawn was asking her ex to remove all of his belongings from the house which meant that she now had a free room! She nurtured that room to life and used it to reflect her process of self discovery. Each time I arrived at Dawn’s house for a session, I saw how she had imprinted her authentic self more and more into that little room. In the process of coming into a stronger version of herself, she even began planning to start the textile design company she had always dreamed of doing.
Home.ology recognizes that only you know when you’re ready for change. Especially with divorce, there’s a time when you’re ready to move on and there’s a time when you’re not quite there yet. There’s no right timing. It may be the moment you or your ex leaves the house, it may not be until the divorce papers are finalized, or it could be three years after the divorce. Whenever the time is right and you’re ready to step into your new life, Home.ology can help. If you’re tired of living with sadness, grief, fear, stress, anger, and resentment, Home.ology can help you find a way out. It will give you a new way of stepping forward that recognizes your home as part of the process.
This is Home.ology. A system that addresses the challenges of divorce from all angles. A system that’s helped others get their lives back on track and can help you get yours back on track, too.
Leave a Reply